In Your Keeping
by Sunchick116
Summary: He looked up at her. “And what about you? I almost lost you that day, too." LP oneshot, 609


**A/N: This is my second 609 one-shot, based on another one of LP's conversations. In case you can't tell, I REALLY hated that episode. I'm sick and tired of talk of the day of the school shooting, only concerning Keith. What about Peyton? Did she or didn't she get shot in the leg the same day? *rolls eyes* anyway, don't know where this came from. I've been working on it for months. Here it is. Hope you like it. And if it gets uploaded screwy again, blame FanFiction, not me. A HUGE thank you to Sheena for reading and proofing this for me! You know I worship the ground you walk on, girlie! LOL**

_In your Keeping_

_Tell me i will never die_

_Take away my pain_

_Rock me gently in your arms_

_Say that i'll remain in your keeping_

"I'm not writing this," Lucas' stern voice spoke as he walked into Peyton's office.

Peyton's eyes snapped up. "I thought Julian said he'd found another writer."

"I'm hoping he's bluffing," Luke's voice rang out, a mixture of disappointed and defeated.

"You wanna tell me why this is so hard?" Peyton asked.

"I don't really know what happened in Keith's final moments. And I'm not gonna just make it up, and I'm not gonna make it up so Julian's movie can be more dramatic. I mean, think about it. Did he beg for mercy? Did he cry? Was he shocked? Did he feel betrayed? Or maybe Dan should be conflicted and pitied. I can't write that," Lucas said, determined.

He sat down next to Peyton, and she spun around so she was facing him, her legs in his lap. She began stroking his face tenderly.

"Do you know what I love about you?" she asked. "It's that you're always protecting everybody. But you don't have to protect Keith. And, I mean, regardless of what the scene becomes, I'm sure he'd rather you write his last moments over anybody else."

He looked up at her. "And what about you? I almost lost you that day, too."

"HEY!" she cried. "I'm still here," she said as she cradled his head in her lap.

"Yeah, but you could've not been. It could have been you just as easily as it was him. Or worse, both of you," he choked out.

She ran her hand through his hair. "But it wasn't. You saved me. You're always saving me."

Lucas looked down, ashamed. "So why couldn't I save him?" he cried.

"Baby," Peyton murmured gently. She brought her lips down to his. His lips lingered on hers as they brought their heads together.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Her eyes snapped back up to catch his gaze. "For what?"

He looked away. "For last year. For the last couple of years. For being stubborn. I've been so selfish."

She looked at him sadly. "It wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault. I wasn't thinking for two. I should have been."

"It's not just that. I didn't mean to go back into the school that day. I was just trying to stop Nathan from going in," he admitted.

Peyton chuckled. "See? Always saving people."

"I'm not a good guy, Peyton. I lied to you. I let you think things were your fault, that weren't."

Peyton looked at him curiously. "Sweetie, what are you talking about?"

"I made a lot of mistakes, Peyton. Leaving you in that hotel room, letting you think my heart attack was your fault."

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. What are you talking about?"

He took a deep breath. "The night of the state championship, I didn't take my HCM medication. My heart attack was my fault, not yours."

Peyton glared at him, and started to hit him in the chest. He threw his hands up to defend himself, but she burst into tears. He reached out and folded his arms around her.

"I deserve that," he whispered softly.

"Do you know what I would do if I lost you?" she yelled. "What would happen to me? You know that I spent years blaming myself for that, thinking It was my fault, that I was bad luck to you?"

"Bad Luck?" he said, shocked. "Baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Yeah, like I believe that," she said bitterly. "If it wasn't for me, you could have run back out to safety and not been stuck in that school. If I had listened to you about Derek, you wouldn't have had to miss your brother's press conference just to investigate him."

"Hey!" he said softly. He lifted her face towards him gently. "I CHOSE to be there. I wanted to help protect you, because I love you." She looked away, ashamed. "What do you think? You think I did those things because I...what, felt sorry for you?"

She shrugged. "Maybe. What else was I supposed to think? When you were done helping me, you'd always go back to her."

His eyes widened. He opened his mouth to argue, but shut it again. He deserved that.

There was a momentary silence before he spoke again. "The night I called you from the airport, Lindsey called me." Peyton looked over at him, curiously. "She left me a voicemail, after I emailed her my dedication for the book. I think she wanted me back. To this day, I haven't returned her phone call." Peyton looked away, ashamed, before he continued. "I don't want her, Peyton. I never have. I want YOU," he said simply. "I wanna be with you, Peyton."

Peyton wanted to believe him. She did. But it was hard. Even though he'd changed his mind so quickly in her favor, that didn't change the fact that he'd changed his mind so quickly at all, and it made her worry about the day he'd change it back again. When you get everything you've ever wanted in an instant, and you're not normally that lucky, you start to wonder when the universe is going to wake up and realize it's made a horrible mistake and everything is going to be taken away from you again.

Sensing her apprehension, and knowing she wasn't convinced, Lucas pulled her down into his lap.

"Look at me," he pleaded. She turned her face in his direction. "Somebody told me once you don't find love, love finds you. I want to be with you, and I have to be with you. Either way, it's you. You win."

Peyton's eyes were brimming with tears at this point. He had never been anything but brutally honest about his feelings for her, to the point where he had gladly gotten himself into trouble and given up others just to be with her. There was no justifiable reason why she should think he was just trying to make her feel better now. She just knew that she loved this man and for some godforsaken reason she still didn't understand, he loved her back. She wanted to thank him for…well, everything. For loving her, for taking care of her, for being there for her, and there was only one thing she knew how to do, to effectively get that point across.

So she lunged forward and crashed her lips onto his. She caught him off guard, and he fell back a little bit, but he immediately responded, wrapping his arms completely around her. He kissed her all over, her lips, her eyes, her cheeks. He wanted to kiss those insecurities away, the ridiculous thoughts in her head that made her think he would want anything more in his life than her.

He knew it was his fault they were there in the first place, and he hated himself every day for putting her through the motions that would ever dare make her think the way she did. He cursed the day he made her doubt how beautiful and amazing and fantastic she was, and he had promised himself that if she ever allowed him a second chance, he would make it his life's mission to make it up to her and prove to her how lost he really and truly was without her.

He tasted the tears on her cheeks as he kissed her, and that did nothing except provoke his own set of tears.

"Luke?" Peyton said worriedly.

"I love you. So much. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he began to sob.

"I know. Me too," she reassured him as she held him in her arms.

They sat there for the rest of the afternoon, rocking each other, holding each other, just being together. They were beginning what would be the rest of their lives together, offering what no one but Lucas could ever offer Peyton, and no one but Peyton could ever offer Lucas - a life of love and happiness and truth, free from heartache and pain.


End file.
